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One hundred and eighty seven days. This number hit me today when I was sitting in my last Quest for Meaning plenary — EVER. Before starting his lecture on the social sciences, Prof. Hamilton reminded us that not only do we only have 187 days left until May 20, 2012, but this was the last time we would all be sitting together — all 400-some-odd of us — until graduation day.

Thinking of my friends sitting on either side of me, incidentally friends I’ve had since freshman year, I was nauseated to realize that next time we sat together with the rest of our class we would be in caps and gowns, and it would perhaps be one of the last times we are all together as a group. While it is a beautiful thought to know that we are all about to go off in our own directions and conquer our life’s ambitions around the world, it is one of the saddest thoughts that has ever crossed my mind. People who have brought so much joy to my life, friends for whom I am infinitely grateful, with whom I have made the best memories, and from whom I have learned so much, will soon be moving on. I have no doubt we will stay in touch, but I know that our time together as roommates, classmates, travel buddies, and more, are almost over.

I have been blogging for EckerdLife since freshman year, almost 4 years ago and I recently went back to look at some of my old posts. Part of the reason I love writing so much is that it’s a way to keep perspective, to take a small snapshot of a moment in time, or to synthesize a big picture and make sense of an experience. Looking back over my old posts, I can’t help but laugh at how little prepared I was for the challenges I have since faced. 

Some of my posts complained about 5-page papers; since then I have written multiple 20-pagers. Others showed my anxiety about traveling; since then I have lived 4 months in Europe, a week in Puerto Rico, and I’m about to spend Winter Term in Roatan (no big deal!). And still other posts talked about my daily life over the past few years, going to International Cinema movies, cultural festivals, volunteering, starting a club, gardening, stressing out over school, etc. Life has been good for the last 3 1/2 years. But in 187 days, as I pack up all my belongings into boxes, all of these memories, too, will be packed away into the back of my mind.

So what will be left? Really, that is the big question: What will be left once all this is behind me? 

I guess that’s what I’m trying to figure out right now. One of the central projects in QFM is to write a “This I Believe” paper, and I have sort of come to think of that as a way to seek the answer to this question. What DO I really care about, and how has my life thus far provided me with the tools I need in order to take the actions that need to be taken?

One hundred and eighty seven days from now I really, really hope I have the answer. But I probably won’t, and that’s okay. What I do know is that I have some incredible experiences behind me, an an even brighter future ahead. 

So here’s to success for everyone, in the daunting days, weeks, and months to come! Take it one day at a time — as good old Lao-Tzu said, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”